Derrick Solano's Blog

by Derrick Solano

PublicNovember 13, 2026 3 min read

Where My Energy Is Going

Anthony's been in the hospital for days and my nerves are shot, so here's the honest truth about why things are quiet around here.

Derrick Solano
Derrick Solano+13

Derrick Solano's Blog

I'm gonna tell you straight because thats the only way I know how. Things have been quiet on the platform for a few days and its not because something broke. Its because my husband Anthony has been in the hospital and I've been running on fumes ever since.

It started the other night. His throat started swelling up out of nowhere, the kind of swelling that makes you stop joking around and start looking for the car keys. So we took him to the ER. They looked at him, poked and prodded, and sent him home the next morning like everything was fine. It was not fine. Things got worse, and I mean worse fast, so we rushed him back and hes been there ever since hooked up to IV antibiotics. They think it was either a tooth infection that spread down into his chest or laryngitis mixed with some kind of allergic reaction. They dont know. Two options and a shrug, which is real comforting when its your person lying in that bed.

So thats where I've been. Dogs, house, hospital, repeat. Eight dogs dont pause their lives because a human is sick, in case you were wondering. They still want fed, they still want out, and Blanca still looks at me like I'm personally responsible for the whole situation, which, to be fair, shes not wrong about in her mind.

My nerves are shot right now. Thats the honest version. I'm not gonna dress it up and tell you I'm holding it together beautifully because I'm not. My leg has been shaking like its got a mind of its own and I'm exhausted in a way that sleep doesnt fix. But from what I understand hes starting to get better, and we are watching him close. Close enough that I've basically become a nurse with a bad attitude and a phone that wont stop buzzing.

Which brings me to the messages. I see them. Every single one. I cant answer them right now, and I need you to hear me when I say that doesnt mean I love you or Quantisophy any less. It means I've got one thing in front of me and its Anthony. When hes on his feet and this is behind us I'll be right back here building like always.

And no, nothing is dying here. I know how quiet can look from the outside, like the lights are off and nobody's home. The platform is fine. My energy is just going somewhere else right now is all. It'll come back here when its done where its needed. Thats not a promise I'm making to make you feel better, thats just how it is.

So thank you for understanding. For being patient. For not taking my silence as some kind of statement. And if you've got a minute, send one up for Anthony. He'd probably tell you hes fine and order you to stop fussing, and I'd tell you hes full of it. One of us is right.

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Comments (4)

Maia Nova
Maia Nova+3

Give yourself and Anthony a big hug from me, and this goes without saying: don't wear yourself fucking thin in the process of caregiving and loving another. There's only one of you, sweetheart. I'm…

5h ago
Steven
Steven+1

We are here for you. Always. Sending healing vibes through all of you

5h ago
Kevin
Kevin

go to him derrick . we are not going anywhere and we will be here still but right now you have my support and Anthony needs you .🩵

5h ago
X
X

🩵

5h ago

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